Focus on your own grass!..
Well, there’s nothing like listening to the radio announcing the Grammy winners and going ‘Who?’ ’Who?’.. to make me feel old!
Or the absolute physical NEED to crunch and creak and stretch myself around for 10 minutes after waking up, just to reset and prepare my body for the day after whatever sleeping position it’s been in, on a supposedly good quality mattress (grr)!
I am well, well aware that my 20, 30, 40 (fingers crossed) years-from-now self will be absolutely cackling uproariously at the idea I moaned about feeling old, in my 40s. I definitely know that when I hear people in their 20s or 30s complaining about ageing, I just want to roll my eyes and slap them! (I usually manage to resist).
But, we can only live with our own present. Comparing, comparing, comparing, it seems we as humans are hardwired to sabotage ourselves by doing this, all. the. time! It’s similar maybe to the idea of not allowing ourself kindness or a bit of a moan about a rubbish day, because we rationalise that there are people in the world suffering far worse things . That’s undeniably true, but the fact of worrying about someone’s traumatic situation elsewhere doesn’t actually take away our own pain or make it less valid.
And we can’t fully be empathetic, caring and show kindness to others if we don’t acknowledge our own situation first. It’s the old ‘put on your own oxygen mask before your child’s’ scenario.
Plus, it’s not a competition! We’re capable of having two emotions at the same time. It’s similar to when I wrote about the Euros a while back; I’m able to feel both happy for the winning team AND sympathise with the losing team, I don’t have to choose. So too, I can sympathise with others going through a difficult situation, and be active in showing them kindness, without that negating the need for me to be ‘selfish’ and care about myself as well.
So of course, I suppose this brings me to the reminder of the best way to come back to our own present, to ‘be’ fully in our personal here and now. Whether moving on a yoga mat, or sitting in stillness, we ‘watch’ ourselves - notice the breath, follow the inhale, observe the exhale, pay attention to how we react when the mind or body ‘says’ something to us.
And with continued practice, we can carry this mindfulness into our everyday lives too. If you feel yourself comparing, or beginning to feel anxious, or angry, stop and have a ‘micro-moment’ scan of your mind, breath, body. What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this? What would be the best way to react? Do I even need to react?
Then look down. And see that the grass right under your feet is green.
And maybe take a good look at the photo accompanying this ramble today. Stop if you can and take 5 breaths. If you look closely you'll see the sea in the distance on either side of the woods. And I'll leave you with a smile - those woods are, genuinely, called 'Teddy Bear Woods'. (-:
